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I'm getting a lumpectomy on Thursday. All the stress and then the relief after the BRCA1/2 mutation test came back negative was for nothing. Because in February, I found a lump. An ultrasound, MRI, and mammogram later, and they've decided it needs to come out. I've had pretty severe stomach issues since it was scheduled last Friday. I can't keep much down, and when I do keep it down, well, it doesn't come out well on the other end either. (TMI, I'm sorry)

Work might possibly fuck me over, because they are considering not letting me return to work with restrictions (my job "requires" lots of driving and lifting and moving around and such, but I contend that I can avoid doing those things and still do my job). Which means that I have a one week waiting period for my short term disability benefits to kick in, and I don't have enough vacation to cover that, so unpaid time...and then STD benes only pays 80% of my base wage.

I've been crazy busy at work, and MitsuBT's separation orders got all messed up, so it looks like I'm moving in May, but he (and all of our stuff) won't be joining me there until late June or July. So I will be all alone in a place I've never been and where I know absolutely no one AND we will end up paying rent for three different places (his place here, my place here, and the new place in NJ) for May and June (and possibly part of July). This on top of the fact that I'm about to take about 2 weeks of unpaid time off (one week for the surgery, another for me to actually move to NJ) is really stressing me out. All of our savings will be gone and my credit card maxed by the time he gets to NJ.


I just can't handle the stress. And the surgeon told me I need to quit smoking before the surgery, so I'm staring longingly at my last cigarette and I'm about to cry.

But, there is good news. MitsuBT officially proposed to me on Sunday, and I'm ridiculously excited about our upcoming wedding. 2 more weeks (and 2 days)! Hopefully, I'm off restrictions by then and can actually wear a bra to the ceremony (if not, I'm fucked, because my dress absolutely requires one).

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