Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery

Not all unwoke men are bad, I think?

IMO there are men who are fierce allies, who listen and take advice well, who go and find out things without needing constantly to be taught, who don’t need to directly empathise to understand. THEN, there are men who are well-meaning but don’t know shit about shit, and have absorbed a passive, unquestioning acceptance of the way things are.

Herr honk tends toward the latter camp. He loves him a strong woman (like me!) but he doesn’t really fully grasp that feminism is a both-genders movement and that to achieve equality, men have to help; he’s also just simply uninformed about certain issues. Case in point: the other night we were discussing whether we might join a network of UK-mainland hosts for Northern Irish women who need to travel here to have an abortion, since it’s outlawed there. Obviously it gets expensive if you have to pay to stay somewhere, and hosting women whose local government are fucking reactionary bigoted shitbags seems like a positive way I can contribute. This led us on to talking about the inaccessibility of abortion in the Highlands & Islands districts and the comparable (by design) situation in places like Texas, re TRAP laws. And he was like, “But for major surgery like that, isn’t it prudent to restrict abortion provision to clinics who can handle inpatient surgery and complications etc etc?” He had no idea - NONE - that most abortions are medical rather than surgical now, or how safe both medical and surgical ones are. As a result of thinking that abortion is, like, major abdominal surgery or some shit, he’s giving all this rightwing asshole moves a total pass based on what he thinks is common sense.

Now, one reason I love herr honk anyway is obviously that when you tell him this sort of stuff, he’s like “oh! right, ok” and learns from it and is then 100% on your side on that issue. But he’s that annoying sort of proto-ally that just needs hand fed all the time and doesn’t know shit for himself and doesn’t read relevant media to get educated on women’s shit because he doesn’t grasp how central it is. After last week, that sort of proto-ally seems to be more visible on facebook - the dimwitted guys who are like “oh, i had no idea...” and I’m like JESUS CHRIST READ NEWS SOMETIMES, but... at the same time I feel a little forgiving towards those who are willing to change, because I had some very dim and uninformed views on things like gay marriage in the late 1990s regarding the separateness and equalness of civil unions. Yikes. I learned and facepalm every time I remember what I considered to be common sense at the time. Now, these guys aren’t reading the links and memes that we post that explain the obvious because they don’t realize how feminism affects them, and throwing fully woke info at them just seems to confuse them. (Walk before you run, etc.)

What are some dim-bulb accidentally unwoke shit you’ve encountered lately? What are some other Basic Shit 101 facts that I might need to tell herr honk? Ugh, why can’t guys just go... learn.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter