TW: blood-sucking disgusting insect infestation

So I have been getting these itchy spots on my arms, but I’ve had psoriasis-like stuff from food allergies before, figured I was just experiencing more of the same. Also, while it itched, it felt more like a chigger bite or poison ivy, not like how I’ve heard of bedbugs itching like hell.

Welp, like 10:30 I think to myself, “it’s been like 3-4 weeks since I’ve changed sheets. I should do that.”

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BEDBUGS. MOTHERFUCKING BEDBUGS. I don’t use a nightlight and I have good night vision, so I usually don’t turn on or off the light when going to bed/getting up. Well some nice bright light revealed the problem. Living and crawling around as well as little carcasses. Little brown spots on my sheets where they clearly had a snack on me. UGH.

I did not start screaming or freaking out. I did, however, get trash bags and throw away the pillows and mattress pad. In the dumpster already. Sheets went immediately into the washer to be washed a few times as hot as fucking possible. I might just throw them away. Because rationality is not the ruling part of my brain right now.

And then I went to Walmart and got more trashbags. And laundry detergent. Because of course I was low on both.

I’m taking tomorrow off work so that I can arrange for the trash company to pick up the mattress and box springs. I will get plastic sheeting from my dad to wrap it up in to try to contain things until the trash pickup. I will probably be uber-white trash and leave it on the back patio during this. Looks like so far that the downstairs sofa is okay. Going to arrange fumigation of the entire condo as well. Also need to call the vet to see if I need to get anything for my dog. I don’t think he’s having issues, he’s not itching himself at all, but no reason to not call and check.

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And clean the fuck out of the upstairs bedroom. And then buy a new mattress and box springs (probably after sleeping on the sofa for a few weeks, just to be on the safe side). Luckily I keep my clothes in a separate room, so while I will be washing probably everything I own, it could be worse.

What am I missing? Please let me know, I’ve never had this problem before, nor has my immediate family.