[37 minutes into watching the premier of 'American Horror Story: Coven' while consuming a six pack of beer]

"Hey,it's Jessica Lange!!! WOW, Jessica Lange!!! JESSICA LANGE. Ha! [pauses to drink giant swig of last beer] Damn. Jessica Lange. Long hair. Don't curr."

*drops mic*

Thank you and goodnight, ladies and gentlemen! I'll be here all week. Try the chicken and please remember to tip your commenters.