Every so often, my 4 year-old and I like to play his version of "the Dozens." He has been well-trained to understand that this is a game only he and I play, and it stays in our house and does not travel to preschool or anywhere else. He's been remarkably good about the rules of the game, which we have been playing at odd intervals for months. I don't even remember how it started but sweet mother of pearl, I adore it. It satisfies my love of bizarre insults and my love of potty humor.

With that in mind, here are the best three insults he gave me this evening. I had nothing even remotely as good as these.

"You're an egg with a banana on your mouth."

"You're a poop-chicken."

"You're the stinkiest butt that ever pooped out a butt."