GF: It really is simple.
BF: So Daddy you were somewhere else, I suspect that small cave room (bathroom) and your mother was in another room.
Me: You are not helping yourself.
BF: There was a bag in the closet with food I am too short to reach. There I could smell a nice smelly box in a cylinder.
Me: Its called a trash barrel.
BF: I pulled it out and dragged it to my bed. Then I opened it.
Me: Opened it as in ripping apart sending pieces of the bag all over the dog bed.
BF: You should have left more food. About 3 tiny crumbs.
Me: You cannot each chocolate cookies so be happy it was just crumbs.
GF: Father it did make my bed smell nice.
BF: Do you know what your mommy did? She yelled WHAT DID YOU DO.
Me: I heard it upstairs through a closed door.
BF: I cowered until she said “you can do no wrong”. I cowered a long time too.
GF: Father it was a long time. Ten seconds.
Me: Not surprised.
BF: So your mother left the room after picking up the pieces.
Me: Not all we found some later.
BF: So I thought I would do your mommy a favor so I cleaned up that bag she takes with her. It was messy.
Me: Translation. I smelled mint that your mother had in there and thought I would get it. Also its called a pocket book.
BF: I was cleaning it so she could get access to the mints. Never found them though.
Me: Thank God since all you smelled was candy wrappers.
GF: I told him to stop.
Me: You mean you wanted him to share.
BF: Your mommy complained about a few pieces of the food bag on my bed there is like a zillion pieces of paper in that bag she carries.
Me: Coupons and yeah she keeps seemingly zillions then throws out a zillion minus two or three she uses before they expire.
BF: I made sure these pieces were just on the floor for her to organize. Many had pictures of food but no odor of food. Thats just stupid.
Me: So you made a mess for nothing. Which is good since you found no mints except for empty wrappers since she ate them.
BF: That’s mean. Well she found me. Did she thank me? Nope she said “WHAT DID YOU DO”.
Me: I heard it upstairs through the closed bathroom door.
BF: I cowered. Almost as long as the first until she said “you can do no wrong”.
GF: I need to learn how to cower like that.
Me: Same here.