Me: No you were not and its called a handbag.
Backstory. I was upstairs brushing my teeth and my mother unknown to me had put a brownie in her handbag for something to eat after a blood test. She left the handbag on the floor and saw BF standing next to it like he was waiting for her to leave the room. She told me hours later.
BF: I swear I was guarding it.
BF: A man on the magical screen was drinking coffee. When you drink coffee you need food.
Me: You do?
GF: Since when did magic screen folk ever come through?
BF: You never know especially when coffe and food is involved.
Morning Joe was on.
Me: You were waiting for my mothers back to turn for you to get the brownie.
GF: We all know that worse you would not share it with me, your girlfriend.
BF: Then you ruined it by coming downstairs she was about to turn her back.
Me: You just admitted it. Also chocolate is bad for you.
GF: You eat it.
Me: Humans can.