GF: BF would not give me a bite. I want some. NOW. NOW I said.

Let’s go back a few minutes:

Me: MOM what is this ripped bag doing in front of the stairs? MOM is this food?

My mother: What are you talking about. What’s in front of the steps.

Me: It looks like food.

My mother: I am coming.

She arrives and looks.

My mother: Its food.

We both bend to look.

My mother : Its fruitcake that I bought. I bought five they were in a bag on the kitchen floor.

We notice BF at top of stairs looking down.

BF: Its so sticky. Its sticking to my teeth and gums. Can’t stop licking my mouth.

Crumbs are all over.

We pick it up BF took about three bites.

My mother to BF: What did you do?

BF: Can’t talk mouth still sticky.

My mother: oh just a crime of opportunity you can’t help yourself.

Me: I would never get away with that. (Unsaid thought)

GF: Food on floor I want some NOW.

Me picking her up.

Me: Couldn’t you have shared with your girlfriend who loves you and who washes your face.

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BF: Going to take a nap now.

Walking to kitchen. BF is sleeping on top step. GF heads back to family room for nap.

Me: Fruitcake salvagable.

My mother: I cut off the part he was chewing on.

Me: I will take a bite.

It was sticky but very good.

BF was given a special teeth brushing. No he won’t learn.

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