First, look at these smores cupcakes that I baked today to spite Kitchenette. Delicious marshmallow filled spite!
(Please to note I would never actually spite ubertrout. I love his frighteningly intense food vitriol even when it is directed at my patronus the smore. In fact, the one and only time we have spoken on the phone I spent the whole time drunkenly demanding that he tell me how much he hates my brunch. I cannot wait to hear how he feels about smacos.)
I actually baked these cupcakes because I fucking love smores and I needed a treat to help with dealing with my emotions because I am currently experiencing approximately 5,000 feelings per hour. I have been inventing new words to describe my emotions, but exciterrified and sadelighted just don't seem to be capturing how I feel excited and terrified and so sad and somewhat delighted and a nervous and overwhelmed and stressed and nonchalant all the time. I am also a little hungry.
I had felt like I was drowning and there was no way to escape this riptide that my life had turned into when my parents threw me a lifeline. They would pay for my grad school and moving expenses on the condition that I move out to Vegas with the rest of the family. I desperately did not want to do this. I have moved every two years my whole life and this is the first time ever I have felt that I have a place I belong and a community and a home. Oh, also, this guy and I are a thing now and he makes me pretty deliriously happy, but I guess there's a timer on that too.To give that up and start over YET AGAIN is breaking my heart, but I have gathered up the sad scraps of my courage and in three weeks will hit the road.
So that's where I've been, and I have many funny stories to fill y'all in on, but for now so much to process, and I need to go back to packing (packing cupcakes into my tummy!)