Let me tell you a little tale. And when I say little, I mean overly long.

Over here we've had over a year of epically bad weather. First 3 months of 2012 were gorgeous and sunny...when it should have been cool and a bit damp. It was so warm t hat we had a drought and they had to start water restrictions in April here in the southeast. APRIL.

Then a few days into April, the rain came. And didn't really stop for about 6 months, except for a few days here and there (and I am not exaggerating here). I was living in the country for a bit and the farmland around my town got so badly flooded that they lost many of their crops and roads were washed out - I only had one road to get out to go to work. Natural habitats were thrashed and still haven't recovered. It was so severe that for about 2 months, every day that I was driving home from work, the skies would open up and such severe rain would come down that people would pull off the motorway because you just couldn't see anything. This is exceptional because British people drive fast and generally stop for nothing.

Then it got cold and we had one of the coldest winters on record - I think since the 1960s. This weather would not give up. I was on holiday in the southwest in the beginning of April, when it's usually fresh and beautiful and clear, and there was snow. In fact, there was such a bad snow storm that in other parts of the country, people were digging lambs out of the snow and some islands were cut off for a while.

This went on (sans snow, thank god) into May. Rainy weather, cold weather, grey weather, totally miserable. I'm not a person who generally minds mixed weather but this was bad. Then out of the blue BOOM, it got a bit warmer.

Guess what happened.

EVERYTHING BLOOMED. At once. Every little allergy you might not even notice? Yeah, they're all happening at the same time.

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Now the pollen counts are off the charts, my facebook feed is absolutely chockers with people going OH GOD I'VE NEVER BEEN IN AGONY LIKE THIS. No drug is strong enough. My GP said that everyone is calling in begging for something stronger. And I, knocked up as I am, can't really take anything. I'm spritzing my face with Avene mist like the dirty yuppie I am, and that's helping, but my eyes are nearly swollen shut. Pity me, please.

Thank you for reading my long-winded and melodramatic tale of woe. Here, have a cookie.