In which my mood is blacker than Snape's hair.
My frustration with my roommate reached a peak last night. I found myself a seething frustrated mess in the kitchen during our festivities - not particularly good for having a thankful Thanksgiving.
We decided awhile ago to host Thanksgiving, since both of us would be in town because we're both working. We invited her boyfriend, and originally, it was just going to be the three of us. Cool. Then we found out another couple we know would also be in town. We invited them. Also cool. The more the merrier.
She was working during the day, but could leave early. I am on an overnight shift. Since I would be home during the day, I volunteered to roast the turkey and cook a couple sides. Most of the stuff wasn't really able to be made ahead of time, so I got home yesterday, showered, napped for a couple hours, then woke up to get cooking. Her boyfriend joined me to help, which was great and muuuch appreciated. We had a good time.
My issue is not that I had to cook everything. I love cooking. I volunteered for it. It is the way I show care.
My issue is that I feel like I got the shit end of the straw with the responsibilities for this gathering. My issue is that she came home, went to her room to gussy up, came out, and sat on the couch to learn to play a board game with her boyfriend. My issue is that I had to cook AND clean, and she only noticed when I kept banging into things in my hurry (I am clumsy in the best of times...) and was like "oh. So...what can I do to help?" And, just. By that point, I was so frustrated that I didn't trust myself not to snap at her in front of everyone so I just shook my head.
At the very least, she and her boyfriend did the dishes after dinner. Not all of them, mind, but at least they did some before they went to bed. There's still a sinkful of dishes.
This isn't the first time it's happened. Something very similar occurred on Halloween during "our" Halloween party. I'm starting to wonder if this is why she is constantly suggesting parties to host. I cook, and clean and everything - on a couple hours of sleep - and she gets to eat and make merry. I mean, I end up having fun too, but then I end up exhausted and shaky and frustrated.
So I guess I want to ask a couple questions.
1. Am I being unreasonable? I know I'm PMSing (I just sobbed in the bathroom because I was accidentally left out of a fun email sent around by my shift co-workers and I only found out because the one person who noticed tried to be nice and forwarded the entire email chain to me so I knew I'd been left out and all my insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and I am just a stupid ball of stupid emotions.)
2. If I'm not - being unreasonable, that is - how should I broach the subject?
(I plan on going home, scourgifying my bathtub so I can draw a hotter-than-hades bath, pour myself a large glass of wine, and try to calm the hell down.)
ETA: I got home and caught her as she was leaving for work. I summoned up my nerve and asked if we could talk about yesterday and perhaps figure out how we can be better about helping on her part and communicating on mine. She seemed amenable.