UPDATED:

It seems I'm doling out advice for all who need it... or not. Use me as your therapist... no guarantees on the quality of the advice, though.

โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”-

I'm so boooooooooooooooooooooored.

Someone tell me a really entertaining story, quick.

(please)