There’s some weight talk at the end. Mostly it’s boring old/sick people talk, so here’s a kitten:

(sorry the kitten is gigantic)

Ladies and germs, I have been working really hard at Taking Care of Myself for the last couple years. I have diabetes, metabolic syndrome, migraines, and PCOS at 40 years old. I have been frustrated, annoyed, and even angry about dietary changes, pills, lab work, appointments, counting carbs, all of it. Then there are the health risks, neuropathy, heart disease, kidney damage/failure, liver damage, eye damage, and stroke that scare the hell out of me. I even finally got myself to make exercise a habit and that pisses me off on the regular, too. I’ve never tried to lose weight before (though I made radical changes to my diet years ago and have maintained by eating well) and I actually have a number in mind now because I think I can get there. Lately, I’ve been discouraged because I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress toward that number (though I’m not moving away from it).

Today’s labs tell another story. <boring lab numbers>

HgA1c is basically a three-month index of what your blood sugar has been doing and it’s conveyed as a percentage. Mine has gone down from 9.6 to 6.5, which is a huge change. My blood glucose has gone from 130-230 to 80-140, also a major change.

Advertisement

Lipids. Oh, you fucking bastard lipids. Hyperlipidemia is when your good cholesterol is low, your bad cholesterol is high and your triglycerides are also high. My total cholesterol went down 50 pts, bad cholesterol went down 20 pts, and triglycerides fell from 358 to 164.

Kidney function. Fortunately, my kidneys put up solid numbers and the same numbers every time, meaning that’s all fine and dandy. </boring lab numbers>

Advertisement

I’m by no means old, but I can already look back and see things I wish I’d done differently. Primarily choices about exercise and eating, though not in a “calories in, calories out” way. I wish I had been able to nail down a better relationship with exercise sooner. I wish I wasn’t a sugar junkie. I ate unbelievable amounts of sugar for a really long time. My body wasn’t built to handle it and now I have to work really hard to prevent serious damage.

I don’t lament this. I have made HUGE strides and am not sliding backwards at all and that’s really important. Taking weight off is the next step, even if I’m healthy on the inside at my current weight. Yes, I believe in body positivity. I also believe that if you don’t like something, you should change it (whenever possible). I don’t like weighing as much as I do and I want to change that. It’s going to take a lot longer than I thought, but as long as I’m continuing to move forward I figure I’m doing well.