I recently broke up with my boyfriend. Read about it here if you want. After that, I went out with a coworker for drinks (and also enjoyed the eclipse with him on Sunday) and on Friday, 5 full days after the breakup, I went out to drinks and dinner with a friend. That’s all here.
So Friday night was fine. We met up, had drinks, got food, and talked. However, the crush that I’d had faded as the night wore on. It’s not that he’s not a nice guy; he is. It’s not that he’s not intelligent; he is. He laughs at my jokes, but is a pretty serious person. We had a good time, and kissed briefly at the end of the night, but the crush pretty much faded. Which was fine. I went out with the intention that the worst thing that would happen is I would have drinks and dinner with an old friend and probably have some interesting conversations. That’s what happened.
I went to bed, and woke up at about 5 a.m. because of bladder and cat. I noticed I had a text message from a number I didn’t have saved to my phone. “I keep thinking about you. Explanations galore, but I am wondering how you are doing.” Time stamped 2:00 am-ish.
The number looked familiar, and I finally figured out who it was. An ex-boyfriend of mine, we’ll call “Hunter”. We broke up over 5 years ago for some of the same reasons I had my recent breakup. Well, same reasons isn’t exactly true. There are some parallels. While I’ve learned some things since the breakup with Hunter, based on recent breakup, I haven’t quite learned enough. Or still learning? F*ck if I know.
So over 5 years later, just after breaking up with my first serious boyfriend since Hunter, he texts me asking how I’m doing. I don’t want to unpack any of the emotional shit from him while I’m dealing with my own emotional shit right now with recent breakup, and since there are parallels, reconnecting him will really trigger a re-digging-up of our stuff from our breakup.
I’m thinking about taking a page out of Helen Mirren’s playbook and telling him to fuck off.
Like, what do you want? We haven’t stayed friends, he completely crushed me, and now he’s texting me to just see how things are?