Hi everybody. I just found out my boyfriend has been having sexual communications and at least entertaining the idea of sleeping with someone else. I feel like I should maybe be more sad, but I feel this weird sense of relief. I wasn't satisfied in our relationship, and it was hard for me to deal with because I believed he was really trying to improve and take the steps to be better because he supposedly loved me. But I guess now I can think he's an asshole in peace, and move on with my life. I feel (hope?) that I can do better. He left his things here so he could go to a barbecue. When he comes back tomorrow, I will have his things neatly packed for him. I'm thinking about writing a letter, but I don't know if that would be as satisfying as telling him to get his things and leave, no questions asked and no answers given.
It's my first relationship, and he was the first man I had sex with. The whole thing lasted a little under a year, though, so I guess it was a learning experience and too much of my life wasn't wasted. He isn't good enough for me, but it's very hard to say goodbye to the steady companionship and comfort. And we've had some wonderful experiences, so it's going to be hard to realize I will spend my summer without him, and we won't ever get to celebrate our anniversary. Please convince me that I will eventually meet someone who will sweep me off my feet and give me all the love I need and deserve. And that he/she will be a kind, compassionate, feminist sex god who will patch me back up. Thank you.