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In my unfortunate quest to have a social life and active friend's group, I am a bridesmaid in a wedding this summer. I'm actually a co-head-bridesmaid because the maid of honor is the 11 year old niece of the groom. Long story.

I'm also the only adult bridesmaid living in the same city as the bride, which means I'm hosting the bridal shower. My issue is paying for all of it. At this point, there will definitely be two bridesmaids there, me and the kiddo. She's obviously not chipping in for anything, and her mother and the bride don't get along. As far as I can tell, right now two of us are paying for everything. This is my first wedding party, other than being a bride. I didn't have a shower, so I have no idea how this stuff works. Are the bridesmaids that aren't attending supposed to chip in, or are we stuck footing the bill? Two of them cannot afford it, and the other one just started a new job, so I'm not sure if she can either. I'm unemployed and the other woman helping me is planning her own wedding right now. The bride just wants this chill day of hanging out with other ladies and doesn't seem to realize that even a chill day for 20-25 people still costs money.

The things we do for friendship.

ETA: Potlucks are hard when most of the people invited don't keep a kosher home, but the hosting home is kosher. I'm planning on just getting frozen appetizers for easy of transport. Thankfully she picked a time that doesn't require a meal, so that lowers the cost. I'll ask people if they can contribute a bottle of wine, that'll save me a bunch of money.


The bride doesn't really think about money, unless it's actually coming out of her pocket. She's currently spending her inheritance, although her parents are both alive. This is the same woman who once suggested that I don't need to worry about affording a baby before having one, because my dad will help me out.

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