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Brother In Law update (warning: possibly triggering for abuse)

(Please please please do not mainpage this shit. I doubt that would happen anyway but like...seriously, please don't.)

I stayed at my sisters last night because she had a party and she wanted me to stay late. I woke up this morning and heard my niece and my brother in law arguing about the fucking stupid iPad charger again. They had this same argument yesterday. Long story short, my niece was pissed because she got blamed for taking her brothers iPad charger. Only it's not his charger, it's her charger but she gets blamed for everything so it's no surprise. So I hear this and don't think much of it.

I'm walking down the stairs and all of a sudden I hear this loud SLAP. I rushed to the bottom of the stairs and see my niece holding the side of her face and then my BIL starts saying something about how "these kids are too fucking defiant. They don't fucking listen." and starts bitching at my sister for allowing them to do whatever they want. As he's doing this, my niece starts crying (because NO SHIT!) and saying that she wants him to go live someplace else (which is pretty telling, because what other kid tells their father they wish they would move?!).


For a moment I stood there, watching my sister, waiting for her not to react. I really thought she was just going to tell my niece to go to her room or something. But instead, she actually told him to GTFO and go to his mothers house. Now, I don't actually know if he ended up going to his mothers house because I haven't talked to her since I left and the whole situation has made me a a complete mess all day long. But she did tell my parents about what happened, which shocked the shit out of me. Maybe she just figured she should tell them because I would end up telling them anyway? But the fact that she acknowledged that this shit is totally messed up and not okay was a big turning point.

So...that's the good news? Well, that and I know my niece is staying at her friends house tonight so at least she's not near that asshole for the time being. Ugh.

But guys, here is the part where I out myself as a 5 star shitbag who has no business calling herself an auntie...

I have seen him do worse than slap that little girl across the face over an Apple product. To date, I have witnessed the following first hand:

  • Pushing her into walls
  • Twice picking her up by her hair because she was "being hyper" (she has ADHD!!!!!)
  • Calling her a "fucking bitch"

The first time he picked her up by her hair I flipped out and he told me to "mind my fucking business or get out of his house". So I left. But what happened is that as I was getting into my car, I looked up and saw my poor niece crying in her window as she watched me leave. And when I think about that miserable awful moment I just want to fucking die. So after that I started keeping my mouth shut but following her up to her bedroom to hug her and listen to her cry. Because in my mind, at least this way she doesn't feel so god damn alone. And her knowing that I am there for her probably means more than if I told her father what a disgraceful cunt he is.


But it still doesn't take away from the fact that I'm not actually doing anything to help her. But my question is: what CAN I do? I really seriously do not want to call child protective services on my own damn sister. I also do not want to see those kids in a foster home. And there is no way I can afford to take them myself. No judge would give them to a single 30 year old who can sometimes barely afford cat food. I'm just really lost on this one.

I have had a talk with my sister and she says she thinks he needs some type of anger management. I think that's an excellent idea. It's definitely a start. But other than having these non-judgemental conversations with her, I have absolutely no idea how to protect my niece from this horrible shit.

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