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Burt And Loni Try Satisfries

Illustration for article titled Burt And Loni Try Satisfries

Burt: I got you some Satisfries.

LoniManderson: What the fuck are 'satisfrieds'?

Burt: No, 'Satisfries.' They are those Burger King french fries that aren't bad for you.

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LoniManderson: There is no such thing as french fries that are not bad for you. That is insane. Where do you get these ideas?

Burt:I saw it on a commercial. They consulted with these french fry scientists. And the scientists said they make 'em up special with the fat taken out from where the thing is that they fry them in.

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LoniManderson: Nope, everything about that is wrong, but let's move on before I lose my mind. Why do you even care? This morning you made two 'bacon sandwiches' for breakfast. And then you asked if we had any leftover ranch dressing and some Jello. I don't even want to know what the hell you were planning on there.

Burt: Oh I'm working on a thing for an idea I have about a breakfast snack cup. Right now I have to use Jello because they haven't invented anything else that goes right with the spicy Cheetohs. Anyway, I don't want to talk about that because the people from Big Grocery might have listening devices planted in our kitchen.

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LoniManderson: I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that and we will never speak of it again.

Burt: Anyway I brought you these fries because I want to start eating more diet food to be healthy and stuff.

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LoniManderson: So you brought home two giant Whoppers, two milkshakes and two large fries. And an apple pie.

Burt: Two Satisfries.

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