So inspired by kemperboyd's recent post, I have a bit of an issue to put forward myself when it comes to a friend.
I have an old university friend who I feel like I always have really awkward interactions with. The long and the short of it is that I feel both like I need to big up myself to her constantly (especially when I feel insecure), but then I also over-share about everything that's going wrong and worry that I make her uncomfortable.
When we were at school together, she once accused me of dominating conversations, but I've noticed that when I will specifically ask her about herself, or try to engage her side of the conversation, she's just a reticent person. So to fill dead air, it's easier to talk about me, or just to talk in general.
Part of me wants to work on this, and before we see each other (usually two or three times a year at most) I try to remind myself not to over-talk or over-share, and by the time we part ways I feel like I've still failed.
But... maybe it's her? Like she's the only person I seem to have this big of an issue with. In general, I find seeing old friends daunting because some of them have achieved more (or at least seem to be achieving more) and I don't want to seem like the sad-sack who hasn't done much.
It could also be the way she reacts to things — with a look of deep concern rather than just going, "Ugh, yeah, me, too. The future's scary! Being an adult is scary!" Instead she'll often say, "Well, maybe you should just... move away... somewhere."
Which... isn't terribly helpful advice, but also tends to justify my fears.
I don't know. I hope this is making sense. Does anyone else do this?