Since about the second week it's been rumoured that the DBT group I'm in will be cancelled. One of our leaders had been gone for the last couple of weeks, so I assume they've been putting off this decision until both are there to inform us. It's been stated in group that it's a possibility and the hospital has discussed it with our leaders.

Why?

My ERPS was a record failure. Out of 20 people, 2 went on to DBT. Normally, it's 7-10 people.

By cancelling this DBT group they are gonna make a new ERPS group to churn out more DBT candidates and shorten the waiting list.

My DBT group will only have 3 people, after one of the group member 'graduates'. So it's seen as being too small. Normal size is 5.

I've been silently pissed about it. I haven't said anything because I actually didn't believe they were going to do it. I assumed they wouldn't because it would trigger everyone's trust and abandonment issues. And this week, I get the feeling it's going to happen.

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Essentially, I can wait 3-4 months for the same group. Or move to a totally new group one a totally different section and start over. I don't want to move because it ruins my work schedule. I think starting over is bullshit.

On top of that, I'm the only group member that hasn't had a private therapist assigned to them. I've asked every week.

I'm really not going to be able to control my reaction, because it will be yet another time this hospital has fucked me over. Yes, I see that's not their intention. But how the hell do you ever trust someone, if they keep delaying your treatment like it's no big deal? Or if they suddenly decide to cancel it?

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I'm trying to get back in with my old therapist, but he has a super limited schedule. I'm trying to do what I can to lessen the blow and make sure I have a mental health support system when the hospital dumps me.