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Candy Crush Is Evil

Candy Crush is the most evil game in existence, y'all.

It lures you in to play by giving you cute candy icons (with the exception being that acorn/onion thing) to swap around. Telling you objectives that seem innocent and easy until you start to play. You get this rush from trying to clear the board in a certain amount of moves. But if you fail, you lose a life. And that is where the evil starts.

That pain you feel when you discovered you have no more lives and cannot wait for the life clock to reset is a problem. Continually begging people to give you lives just so you can beat a level and have just a bit of a high from the rush that playing the game provides is a problem. Putting things off like washing dishes, feeding your children, and getting to work because you are on a winning streak is a problem. All these problems means that Candy Crush is evil.


The only solution to this evil is to take over the developer's office and give everyone infinite lives so they can stop being stuck on Level 143 because one dumb jelly will not clear the board no matter how many times you play it. Because it should have cleared the first time but the game is rigged. That is the only way to explain why someone is stuck on level 143. But now that someone is out of lives and desperately needs more but no one has any to give. Maybe that someone needs help.

In case you couldn't tell, I am bitter that I can not get past level 143 on my co-worker's phone. Candy Crush has taken over my life and I don't even have a phone that can play it. I need help or at least a phone that can get it

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