This is one of best posts I've ever read on Captain Awkward:
She gives such amazing advice on all kinds of relationships, and she's great at deducing what letter writers' underlying issues might be.
I absolutely love the insistence that self-care is sometimes the best thing you can do for other people. You can just force yourself into being a kind and considerate friend or significant other — if you're stressed or unhappy, then those feelings are going to come out in the way you treat other people.
One of the sillier things about our cult of masculinity is this insistence that guys can just "man-up" and get over injuries or other big issues (You got a divorce? Man up and deal with it! Got shot in the gut? Walk it off!). But I also think there's an analogous cult of nuturing that women fall into. We think that we can just be selfless friends or perfect girlfriends if we just woman-up and push through, never mind that whatever emotional distress we're feeling is something genuine that we should pay attention to.