So I met up with my ex today for the first time since our breakup three weeks ago. Many of you who read I Survived A Gaslighter will probably think this is the worst idea ever, and a good part of me was definitely wondering if this was the worst idea ever. But I had something of his that I knew he needed, and I thought it would be freeing to merely give it back instead of hanging on to it or tossing it out of spite. And, of course, a tiny part of me wanted to see him, which is, I know, shocking (sarcasm) and hella ill-advised (not sarcasm).
But it was the best decision ever! I saw him and gave him his things, and we chatted for like half an hour. It was great! I think removing the rose-colored glasses, along with the distance and perspective, allowed me to see him as he really is. And there were so many things that made me think, "I can't believe I dated you," or "SO glad I don't have to deal with this anymore." And I think, instead of thinking back longingly of all the good memories and all the good times I'd lost by breaking up with him, I was able to see the reality that... he's a hot fucking mess. Which makes his actions in our relationship even more unbelievable, because who else would put up with that shit? Why would he risk losing someone who was so supportive and dedicated when he so doesn't have it together?
Anyway, knowing that he and his issues are no longer my problem is utterly liberating. I took great joy in being friendly and showing him that I don't hold any grudges, and also in telling him "NOPE" when he asked me for bus fare. I finally feel free from the breakup, from the sadness, and from him.
Anyone else got an ex or current flame they want to rant about?