I am a great cook. Like, a goddamn badass. Not gonna lie. So is my slightly younger brother. I am SO OVER our mother being disproportionately impressed with him! [worth noting: this is not my brother’s doing AT ALL]
In the old days, we weren’t allowed to ever get in Mom’s way in the kitchen. I moved far away, my brother stayed close by, and suddenly he’s in charge of her precious kitchen. When I go visit, I still can’t touch anything! He gets to use all her fancy kitchen stuff. She’s thrilled! She posts it all over Facebook and everyone falls all over themselves to go ballistic about it!
What annoys me more about this, is that men in her family have always cooked, and always been good at it. So there is like, no precedent for this special male snowflake treatment my bro gets. The women have always been good at it too, but the men are recognized for it.
If I visit my mom or she visits me, she doesn’t let me cook, tells me my food is “fussy” (maybe she’s being competitive??). She wants to cook herself (in my house!) or go out or “whatever is easiest!” Every once in a while I can make something, and I know it has to be simple and crazy healthy or else I’ll get criticized. Meanwhile, my brother apparently visited her last night and cooked for my stepdad, sister, and mom, and it’s ALLLLLLLLLL over Facebook how lucky she is to have a son that knows his way around a kitchen. How amaaaaazzzzzzing he is. He’s going to make his future wife so happppppy someday.
He made fried chicken! If I’d fried chicken, my mom would be like “you can’t be eating like this” and she’d make a big scene out of picking the skin off or just eating the side salad. But no, they are face deep in some fried chicken all over Facebook this morning.
I’m damn lucky that my husband is super grateful for anything I do for our household (large or small), and would be impressed if I cooked up some dog turds for us tonight for dinner.
Honorable mention to how my brother is cleaner than me, healthier than me, makes more money than me, and dates girls who are prettier than me.
He and I recognize we were both treated unfairly due to gender by our parents (our two younger siblings seem not to have noticed, maybe not yet). We both got shitty ends of the sexism stick. This is the one that makes me fucking crazy - how my brother is a better woman than me.
Also, privilege acknowledgement: I grew up eating homecooked meals, was taught how to cook and how to eat healthily (which I choose to do sometimes). I realize this makes me and my brother both very, very lucky. It’s especially apparent now that I am married to my husband, who didn’t have such a luxury - I get excited for eating out, he gets excited for eating in.