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Cave Johnson Here!

I love Cave Johnson. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! I think he's one of the greatest video game characters in recent memory. Literally everything he says is hilarious. I am doing a re-play of Portal 2 and just got to the part where you are thrown down to the abandoned Aperture and are doing all the old tests with the pre-recorded Cave audio playing. I forgot how much fun that character was and what a great job J.K Simmons is having with that role. I could quote all the best lines but there are so many, I'll just let YouTube do it for me

Video 1

There is something else I love about J.K. There is audio that was not used in the game itself but left available for people to find of Caroline protesting to being turned into GlAdoS. The game makes it clear that's what happened but we never actually hear the audio of the actual event. The rumor is that J.K refused to record his lines because the scene seemed to much like rape. If you're curious here is the dialogue Ellen McLain recorded.

The video poster belives the rumor to be true and I really hope it is because that make's J.K even more cool. But according to this from the Half Life wiki

  • Several sound files of Caroline's cut dialogue can be found within the game's cache files. The unused dialogue has Caroline addressing someone as "sir" and desperately insisting that she does not want something. The precise location inTest Shaft 09 for where this dialogue was meant to be played before being cut remains unknown. An Internet rumor claims that J.K. Simmons has revealed that this was intended to be a dialogue between Caroline and Cave Johnson and that Simmons refused to record his portion of the conversation because he felt it was too much like a rape scene. Erik Wolpaw has said in an interview during GDC Online 2011 that this is simply not true.[3] Wolpaw says, "Apparently, these are people who never saw Oz. J.K. Simmons will do anything if you pay him. But that [the rumor] is absolutely not true."
  • Some of Caroline's deleted lines indicate she in fact did not want to become GLaDOS. She says, and repeats several times that she "Does not want this" once even speaking to Cave directly: "No listen to me. Sir I do not want this".[6]

Here is the article referenced in the wiki.


I will believe that J.K refused to record the line because he's cool, and Cave is cool and Portal is cool and DAMMIT VALVE WHY DO YOU HATE THE #3 SO MUCH? GIVE ME PORTAL 3! GIMME GIMME!

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