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CBP, The Cleansening: Archery, the Nose Flute, A Turn of Fortune

I know that I’ve been good friends with Cute Boy Person for a decade, that he liked me back when I was still with DeposedDespot, that we’ve been spending a ton of time together doing The Cleansening, he’s been really quite awesome to me for a long time, and we've technically been dating for months, but damn that escalated quickly. Too much info would feel like a violation of his privacy but I’ll just say that we’re doing quite well in the physical contact department.

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One thing that’s interesting to me is that he’s very physically affectionate, but not in a clingy, territory-marking way. He wants to touch me. He doesn’t care who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon as long as we’re intertwined. Last night, I was all endorphiny and had to park my car, so he went with me to walk me back to my place holding my hand. He just likes touching. It’s very sweet and not even remotely creepy.

I found out what the tattoo is and it is not a chess club tattoo. It’s a clan crest. It has a knight on it! I was full of endorphins. I blame drugs. Also, since he has been subjected to Irish history, he told me the tale of an Irish hero with my last name, which I forgot because endorphins. But, I mean, I know my last name so I can probably look it up.


Archery

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Cute Boy Person came back to town on Monday and I asked for a date night in to watch a movie or something. We opted for his place instead of picking back up on The Cleansening. We spent about 45 minutes trying to decide on a movie and eventually picked Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, which he had seen but I had not. The selection process was complicated by his best friend and his sister both using his Netflix account, so in addition to things that he wanted to see, there were romantic comedies and homoerotic art films. I figured it was a bit early to be breaking out the gay porn.

It was reasonably entertaining but towards the end, I realized that it reminded me of Archer. So I made Cute Boy Person watch the pilot of Archer. He said “How have I been ignoring this show for so long?” Since then, we’ve been doing Archer marathons over dinner and spending the night.

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The Cleansening is much slower when it includes Archer marathons and fooling around. That said, we made more laundry progress, hovered over a mouse as it died in a trap, picked a dead mouse out of my dry cleaning pile (because that mouse is an ass), and started restocking the naughty dresser.

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He's very impressed that I have a dresser for naughty things next to my bed. I'm not sure why; it's not even big enough for everything.


The Nose Flute

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CBP: What’s that a piece to? Looks medical.
Me: Oh! It’s a nose flute!
CBP: Did you say “nose flute?”
Me: Yep. Nose flute.
CBP: That is not a thing.
Me: Yeah huh. [I put the nose flute up to my nose and play it incredibly poorly]
CBP: Not very convincing.
Me: Google nose flute!

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CBP: I’m imagining this. You are a liar. A nose flute is not a thing.
Me: Oo click on that video. Amazing Grace!
CBP: Nope. It still won’t be a thing no matter how many videos of them I see tagged with nose flute. Nope. Not a thing. No such thing. You are a liar. I’m probably dreaming this whole thing.
Me: Yep. Totally imagining it. I'm going to go buy a bag at the party store and pass them out at your office.
CBP: So we're throwing this imaginary monstrosity out, right?
Me: Nnnnnnnope!


A Turn of Fortune

Wednesday, we got Chinese food delivery for the post Cleansening Archer marathon. It came with fortune cookies.

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Me: "Time makes one wise. Ask advice from someone older than you." In bed. I think I got yours.
CBP: It does not say "in bed."
Me: It's invisible.
CBP: That doesn't really work with mine.
Me: Aww what's it say?
CBP: Meh. Mine's boring. [He discarded it.]

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I saw the fortune this morning. It says "You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily." I'd say that works better with "in bed" but now I wonder if he didn't want to read me his fortune because it sounded like an ominous breakup fortune cookie.

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