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Christmas blues

This is our home Christmas and it is bringing me down. One year in three we are here, with my family, one year in Rockhampton with my husband’s and one year away (usually Japan). Christmas at home usually means Christmas Day at my dad’s and Boxing Day at my mum’s. This year my brother and sister are also here (they live in other cities). But my much younger half brother will only be at my dad’s from Boxing Day. So much family organising over what days where. So now I have Christmas Day at home with my husband and stepson, Boxing Day at my mum’s and the day after that at my dad’s. Then I go back to work. No day off from family. Everyone else in this equation will have betweeen 28th and 30th off. It’s been a tough year personally and work wise and I need a break and because my dad can’t sort his custody arrangements out in a timely manner I don’t get one

I don’t have any annual leave days to use because I am going to Europe in April for a family reunion thing and all my leave is on that. Husband is sympathetic but clueless because he works for the government and has lots of days of leave left.


Bonus stressors- I had a miscarriage earlier this year (#5- and after a heartbeat was seen so any mention of abortion and heartbeat just causes so much rage). And I suspect my SIL will be pregnant at Xmas (don’t know, just a suspicion based on other stuff) and not really in a space to cope.

I just want a quiet calm space to be and it isn’t happening.

And extra fun- was supposed to meet husband to go to markets in the park- he was leaving “soon” an hour ago.

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