Me: OHHH MOM, YOU GOT ME THE COLORS OF NATURE PALETTE, THANK YOU!

Aunt: Colors of NATURE? You don't wear the colors of nature!

Me: Well they're the BRIGHT colors of nature.

Uncle: The colors found in nature's brothel.

Aunt: The colors of nature fucking.

Uncle: Wildlife, you might say.


Me: What's that little book, Keven? What's in it?

Stepdad: It's a Book of Secrets.

Me: Anything about me in there?

Stepdad: You're not a secret.