PapaBear and I were recently trying to figure out good Christmas movies we could watch with the kiddos.
He found a list of “Holiday movies” and read them off... I had zero interest in any of them besides Elf. I have seen Elf once before, a couple of years ago with the kiddos, and it was fun. The rest of them? No, thank you.
It took me a while to realize why. My father died suddenly when I was 13 in the middle of December. Christmas stopped being fun for a long time after that. It was only when I had kiddos of my own that I started enjoying Christmas again. (This is not about Jesus - I have felt the same way when both Seriously Christian and Seriously Atheist. It’s about the Holidays and the Joy and the Hope and the Love, Blah blah Blah).
So all of those Christmas movies about families coming together? NO, thank you. And most of the movies I had never heard of because of a combination of starting at age 13 we couldn’t afford movie theaters and I hated the “feel good” push of the Christmas movies.
And Love, Actually? I mean... I know that some people love it. That’s fine. We all have our pleasures in life... but... I have seen it once, and it’s anti-WomenAsPeople, anti-FatPeople, anti-TrueLove, pretty much anti-AllGoodThings. Blergh. Yuck. No, thank you.
So... this might be about Christmas movies, but I think it’s more about my internal feelings in Decemeber, and I really need to work harder at making December a Happy Time of Hope and Love and stuff.
Because even now, more than 25 years later, I’m still pissed that my dad is dead.