I swear, if I ever own a shop or café or something with a set closing time, I’m going to rig up the clock to some hidden speakers.

At about 10 minutes to closing, I’ll have a Big Ben style chime. Of thirteen. To get you nice and unsettled. Then at closing time, I’m thinking some kind of musical hint.

“Closing Time” by those guys is too obvious.

Maybe this?

Or this?

What would you have?

Edit: I’ve just decided I shall also unleash an army of roombas to clean up, because I hate sweeping and also “oops you dawdled and your bag got eaten”. The roombas will, however, be able to tell if someone is a genuine slow walker and clear a pathway for them. Maybe open the door for them. I dunno, roombas will probably have AI and arms at this point, okay?