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Clothes Shopping

This is stupid and NOT a humble brag, I promise. Starting at the new year, I went back to vegetarian (then incorporated fish) and started running. Those two changes were an effort to get healthy and feel better. I had no set size or weight in mind, I just wanted to feel energetic again. I promised I'd only make lifestyle changes that would be permanent. I've lost a bit of weight and had the money/ time to get some new clothes. Even my former "skinny" clothes are too big. I thought I knew what my size was, and had to try on a lot of stuff. I am smaller than I anticipated, which seems weird. The last time I was this weight/ size I was really working hard to maintain (which I didn't). This time around, I feel healthy and happy. I am not at all in the same head space. This has thrown me. I still see the old me in the mirror. I did not enjoy shopping and felt weird buying clothes that fit me. I felt like a fat girl pretending I fit in those clothes (a sales girl had to tell me to get a smaller size). I am in a strange head space about this. The last time I was this weight, I slowly gained over 50 pounds back. This time, I have made changes that I am happy about and want to maintain. Whether I lose or gain weight, go up or down a size, I just like running and feel better as a veggie. That's all I've done to lose the weight. I also have a husband who says zero about my weight. He's affectionate and loving and tells me I"m sexy at any weight. So it's all me. I don't know how I feel about this, but I do know that I probably should have been excited to discover I'm a size smaller than I had anticipated but I feel like a phoney. Sorry if this has been long :(


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