This is a long overdue rant from years ago that I have been thinking about again since I bought a combination lock for the gym.

I don’t understand why the instructions for combination locks are so much more vague than they could be. In middle and high school we had lockers without locks, we just kept them closed with carabiners. Then my senior year of high school they mandated locks and I basically just started carrying all of my books with me to every class because it too me too long to work that stupid lock and I was always late.

We did always have locks on our gym lockers for some reason. This is basically the type of instructions I’d be given: It goes left right left, but it works better if you “clear” it by hitting 0 a few times first. Then for the second number you have to pass the first number again before hitting the second number.


Official instructions aren’t much clearer. This is from a Master Lock manual:


But when I worked briefly as a bank teller, someone finally gave me simple instructions to open the safe lock. And it’s true for regular combination locks too. IT’S FREAKING 3, 2, 1. THAT IS SO SIMPLE. Why doesn’t everyone just SAY that!?

I don’t need to “clear” it by going to 0 twice before going to the first number, I just need go to the first number 3 times.


And don’t tell me in clunky wording that I have to go one whole turn past the first number again when I go to the second number just tell me to go the the second number 2 times.

3. 2. 1.

It works 100% of the time.

I can’t believe how much of my life I spent unable to operate these stupid locks because nobody could really explain them.