Today I heard a HILARIOUS story (especially hilarious if you like to gloat about petty things like I do) about my asshole ex. Some back story: I have not had any sort of contact with the asshole ex in well over two years and since we don't have lots of mutual friends and he moved across the country I know pretty much nothing about him. We tried being friends, but the last contact we had was me calling him out on being an asshole when he tried to tell me that he was "winning the breakup." Anyways, today I hung out with a friend of mine, whom I met through the Constable, and she mentioned that she had met asshole ex this summer when he sort of dated one of her friends. It's super weird that they would have met at all, since there's basically no connection there. Anyways, they were all hanging out and somehow the Constable came up, and "his awesome girlfriend [Inspector Spacetime]." Those of you who have met me know that I have a VERY unique name, so it quickly came out that they were talking about me, the girl he had dated for over a year. So here's the hilarious part. Apparently he got super flustered and defensive and started talking about our breakup, assuming that they had heard awful things about him from me. At one point he went outside to calm down. Only I had never said anything to them about our breakup. Because why would I? It was two years ago and while I certainly wouldn't say either of us should be proud of the way we acted during it, it wasn't extraordinarily bad, just kind of your regular shitty breakup. Also, I've been in a very satisfying relationship the entire time I've known them, so why would my ex-boyfriend who is not in my life at all come up? When I heard that she had met him, I just laughed because that is really very funny. I would never stoop so low as to say that I "won" the breakup buuuuut I will say that my life is damn good and all the better for not having this guy in it.

GTers, tell me your tales of petty vindication!