I love Fridays.

Now, not like that is an Earth shattering statement or anything because DUH, but you know what makes Fridays even more magical than me? Variety Insight Unscripted TV Announcements.

I don't really watch much reality TV (I don't watch much TV, period, if I'm being honest), but I cannot get enough of these email alerts. Why? Because inevitably there is at least one premise that has been picked up that is full on bat shit insane and scrapes a new low on the, "I can't fucking believe they're going to film this and make money."

And this week did not disappoint either:

Series: SECRET LIVES OF STEPFORD WIVES
Greenlight Date: 1/9/14
Network: Investigation Discovery
Genre: Alternative
Episodic order: 12 Episodes
Scheduling: Premieres Tuesday, April 8, 2014 with back-to-back episodes at 10 PM ET/9 PM CT and 10:30 PM ET/9:30 PM CT.
Logline: A docuseries that reveals the dirty laundry of real housewives who are desperate to cover up their deception, adultery, and green in order to project a flawless family life. In the picket-fenced home where they raise their 2.5 children, they giggle demurely at their husbands' jokes and refresh cocktails like clockwork. If these ladies who lunch weren't impeccably dressed in the latest styles from Valentino, you'd think they stepped out of a time machine from 1958. They appear the picture of absolute perfection, but when the sugary facade begins to crack, down come the walls of their country club fairytales.


Series: ARE YOU THE ONE?
Greenlight Date: 1/7/14
Network: MTV
Genre: Alternative
Episodic order: TBD
Scheduling: Premieres Tuesday, January 21, 2014 at 11 PM ET/10 PM CT.
Logline: A reality series about 10 single women and 10 single men who have had no luck in finding lasting love and will first conduct a thorough assessment, using a team of professional matchmakers, psychologists, and the participant's family, friends and exes, to determine their other half. The process will include in-depth interviews, questionnaires and compatibility testing to achieve the ultimate results. Produced on the picturesque island of Kauai, Hawaii, the 20 singles chosen will live together knowing that their perfect match may be in the room right next to them. Viewers will be able to follow the ups and downs as each person gets potentially one step closer to finding romantic bliss, and their reactions can be as surprising as their choices. In addition to getting to know one another socially, the 20 singles will undergo weekly tests of physical attraction, personality traits, relationship history assessments and more. During the quest to pick their match, the singles discover that following their heart might feel right, but if the data does not make a match they have to start their search over, leaving budding relationships behind causing tension and despair. At the end of each week, the 20 potential lovers will scramble to find who they believe is their perfect match. If all 10 couples match up with their pre-determined partners within 10 attempts, they will share the largest cash reward MTV has ever offered and more importantly, will walk away with a prized romance.

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So uh...I guess we have those to look forward to?