I'm not interested in whether Mother's Day is an ok thing. There are several other posts dedicated to this.
I have ISSUES with my mother. I didn't talk to her for three years. I decided contact was probably necessary when my grandmother started developing more obvious signs of dementia. Some of the issues that caused me to cut her out of my life had resolved and I didn't want to deprive her and Little GV of a relationship.
Mom has a spotty job history and is starting to run into age discrimination and she's out of a job again. Even if I could afford to help her out financially I wouldn't. I have developed a lot of compassion for her and I want to do something that will give her a bright spot during a difficult time.
What will that look like? I put together a gift for her mother. Nothing big, but something she'll appreciate. Mom loves to cook for us, so I'm making time to take Little GV, Mr GV, and my grandmother over for late lunch. I'll get her some flowers and I picked up a few things food stamps doesn't cover. Maybe it doesn't sound like much, but I'm helping her in a way that feels comfortable for me. I also don't feel like I'm going overboard for someone who has hurt me in some amazingly painful ways.