I really decided to stop posting about my marriage, but I need to scream in the void. Will take it down later.

Just at a crossroads, when I felt my marriage was finally falling apart, I am paralyzed again. My wife was diagnosed with an essential tremor (hand shaking) years ago. It is part of why she stopped working. Her job required excellent fine motor skills.

Its gotten worse and really bothers her so she found a neuro who is a movement specialist. It took awhile to get an appointment. He thinks it is either side effects from medicine (they can mimic parkinsons), early onset parkinsons, or both. I can’t even process the possibility of parkinsons at this pont. We are in our 40s.

This is coming during the brief window of reconsideration of her second disability (she was denied the first time) claim. New info could mean an approval without waiting for a hearing with a judge (last time it took almost a year after the second post reconsideration denial). I don’t want a diagnosis of parkinsons, but if that’s what she has, we need that info ASAP. I need to know what the future holds financially and health wise so I can plan my future without so many question marks. She is playing phone tag with the hospital to schedule a scan that gives the final diagnosis. I am, literally, coming out of my skin.