I'm in a play that opens this Friday. It is intense and lovely—a beautiful story about aging and what it means to be an artist, and what it means when you aren't able to do your art anymore. And there are politics strewn in, and women's issues, and all sorts of talk about love and trust and freedom. It's deep and rich and dark and sweet.

BUT OH MY GOODNESS I CANNOT MEMORIZE MY LINES.

Also, my allergies are out to kill me. Well, maybe not kill, but certainly embarrass me. Why does my nose run uncontrollably during the biggest and most intense speeches? Why oh why do I not sneeze once, but 3-5 times in a row, when others are having their climatic moments? Why do my contacts decide to dry up and threaten to flip out just when I need to cross the stage and avoid all sorts of set pieces in my way? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????!!!

Have I mentioned that I am incapable of learning my lines?

But the play is great and you should come.