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Welcome To The Bitchery

I think Mr. Misfit and I just now decided that we’re sick of renting and want to buy when our current lease is up, but there are some fundamental truths about us that we absolutely must accept, primary among them the fact that we are absolute crap at outdoor maintenance. That hard truth steered us in the condo and townhouse direction, but, while we’ve lived in apartments, neither of us have any experience with the whole HOA thing. What’s the difference even between a condo and a townhouse? I’m totally ignorant about these things. Homeownership hasn’t appealed to me before (I have a mortal fear of having to replace a roof), but we want more room than we have now without paying stupidly high rent and I want to do what I want to my place finally, dammit. There’s only one way to make that happen. My mother will be so happy.

We’ve been working on a list, but I don’t really know what’s reasonable and what’s not (I don’t want to be like one of those assholes on HGTV, I don’t need the world). I’m really good at DIY and I want concrete countertops anyway, so I’m not too fussed about finishings, and I hate cleaning so I really only want enough extra room to have a separate sewing and hobby area. Here’s the list so far:

  • hardwood floors (no parquet, that’s cheating)
  • 2 bedroom or roomy 1 bedroom with den
  • dishwasher because we don’t have one now and fuck that shit
  • washer/dryer
  • modern appliances
  • no shared ceiling or floor, shared walls only
  • good soundproofing
  • pets allowed
  • small private outdoor space
  • reasonable HOA fees (idk what that would be tho?)

I have so many questions. Is this a reasonable list? Am I going to find something with this stuff, because I would really not like to budge on any of it (aside from the appliances, if absolutely necessary). What’s a normal HOA fee? Am I going to have to go to meetings, because I hate that shit. What do I need to be looking out for? Who fixes the roof????!?!!!


Please share your HOA/condo/townhouse experience. Thanks!


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