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Confessions and complaints

Summertime self-recrimination and bitching.

1. Feminist friend fail:

Phantomchariot has a reeeeaaally good male friend she absolutely adores in a super-fuzzy but platonic way that a decade ago was, truth be told, a wee crush never acted upon. She only gets to see him once a year in a flurry of dinners and parties. She just saw him a few days ago at one such party, to which he arrived late, and she bounced over to him for the customary cheek-peck and quick hug. Aaaand she hung on a second or two too long and ended up stumbling forward as he stepped back. Gahh she said don't let go like that! He pointed out that Phantomchariot was not wholly sober. She could not deny this.


Now Phantomchariot is feeling shitty for having imposed unwanted physical affection on him when she knew better because a) she knows this guy well enough to have been able not to guess at his preferred length of squeeze, and b) feminist fail, as tipsy is not an excuse for this kind of thing, however mild.

2. Daylight guilt:

Phantomchariot is at a high latitude at the moment, trying to cram into a few weeks all her high-latitude work and play before returning to more temperate climes. In mid August, the days are still long enough to be annoying. That is, even working until 6 PM, swinging by the shop on the way home and eating at 7, leaves a seemingly endless, bright evening-to-night she feels she should be filling with either work or play (optimally outside but not necessarily) but certainly not zoning out in front of a screen.

Add to this nr. 3, following:

3. Sun hate:

Phantomchariot is not even a daylight person. She doesn't burn, but she does get a weirdly blotchy tan — discoloration, really — that persists late into the autumn and makes her insanely self conscious. It is almost unavoidable in a high-latitude summer situation.


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