You guise. I am really feeling down in the dumps. I just finished a huge project, and yes, this always makes me feel a bit depressed when all the hoopla is over and the much-needed rest arrives. I'm an introvert in a very extroverted field, and I want to hole up in a dark room for at least a week and only the kitteh can come in. Because she can't talk.
But also I'm just confused about life. I moved from a large metropolitan area a year ago to the smallest city I've ever lived in, for Opportunities. I came by myself. I've made some good friends here, but have not dated anyone. I mean, I've shopped around on OK Cupid. Had a great FWB for a while. Then I met someone I *reallllly* clicked with, and that turned out to be a huge disappointment because he's not looking for a relationship right now, whereas I am. I've been single for several years, since before moving here. Along with how small and vanilla this community is, I'm thinking that lack of potential partners might actually be the thing that makes me decide to move on. Not that it's the be-all, end-all of everything, but I am super picky, and I also am not everyone's cup of tea. I also know that Duder is not - can not be - THE only fish in this small pond for me, but it kinda feels like he might be.
Anyway. I only have another week to stew in my own juices before the next huge project starts. Meanwhile, I guess I just need to focus on myself.
Sorry for the ramble. I just needed to vent. I even had therapy today and didn't feel like I was done venting and being confused after that. I will take a journal into the dark room where I'm going to sit for the next week, and maybe that will help.