Even considering the ever more likely scenario Donald Dickbag is our president, I’ll still take him over Cruz. To me, Cruz shares all of Donald’s horrible opinions but with snakey ways of getting shit done (and an added obsession with women’s reproductive organs).

Trump:

-I think he will be a one term president

-I don’t think he will accomplish anything with both his party and the Democrats opposing him

-My only concern will be getting nuked because he insults some dictator’s wife.

PLEASE REMEMBER I mean this as a Trump vs Cruz scenario. Obviously both would be a disaster, and I am not going to defend the Donald. But I feel a sense of relief watching Cruz lose momentum, because he's the one who keeps me up at night.