Me: I want to add more colors to the living room, since everything is brown.
Mr. Cunning: What about tan?
Me: ...Tan is a kind of brown.
Mr. Cunning: What?! No it’s not! It’s TAN .
*shopping in Target*
Me: The girl and I found some new decorations! Want to see?
Mr. Cunning: As long as they’re not gaudy, I don’t care.
Me: Um... what do you mean by ‘gaudy’?
Mr. Cunning: You know, like that. *points at a gold giraffe*
Me: Oh. *hides gold rhino under her purse*
Said gold rhino:
*after revealing the gold rhino*
Mr. Cunning: Oh god. No.
Me: But we’ve named him.
HM: We’re going to call him ‘Bill.’
Mr. Cunning: *sighs and walks away*
Mr. Cunning: I suppose if we’re going to fancy up the living room, we should do something with it.
Me: Like what?
Mr. Cunning: Invite people over?
Me: Huh. You’re right. Like who?
Mr. Cunning: ...Okay, maybe we need to make some friends first.