In this white paper I'm going to talk about white papers. Namely how important they are.

They are very important.

Or are they?

Yes, they are.

Here's a chart.

Here's an enormous block quote.

Did you know that 37% of people have heard of white papers? And a further 12% have ever read one? And a further 0.2% have ever read one cover to cover?

It's true.

Here's another quote from someone saying what I've just said.

Here's me summarizing the things I've just said about the things other people have said about statistics we probably made up.

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This is a white paper sponsored by white paper.

/Kill me.