I had my counseling intake appointment today. It went better than I expected it to. The counselor didn't get to ask me all the intake questions that we were supposed to get through because I gave longer answers than expected, but she didn't make me feel shitty about it or anything.

I was told when I made this appointment that the intake counselor would do the intake part, then at a staff meeting she would decide which counselor would take my case. At the end of the appointment the intake counselor said that she'd be happy to take on my case, or I could choose someone else if I wanted. That made me feel good about it, like I was in control. She's easy to talk to so I decided to make an appointment with her. My university counseling center recommends having sessions every other week which seems manageable, so I have an appointment for two weeks from now. It's all free and I can continue counseling for my entire time here as a student if I want/need to (I made sure to ask about that). She asked about my goals for counseling and said that they were reasonable and actionable.

She said two or three times that she was very happy that I was pursuing counseling. I'm happy about it too. Part of me wonders if she thought "Holy shit, this chick is fucked up, I'm glad she's here because damn" but I know that's being paranoid and that she probably isn't judging me at all. I've had bad experiences with therapy/counseling in the past but I'm trying to let that be in the past and come into this with an open mind.

Since we covered more-detailed ground today than she had assumed we would, my only "homework" this week is self-care. I'm still scared to actually dive into talking about my bullshit, but at least I took one step. It makes it easier to take more.