I am now the proud owner of this bad boy:

Problem: I have no idea what to do with it. The only successful sewing project I’ve ever completed was a nine patch quilt when I was eight. My grandma did all the cutting and quilt work. My last major project was a stuffed cow I made in home ec. I was terrified of the sewing machine and the cow looked as though it had somehow grown a second spine.

What are some easy beginner projects someone with poor cutting skills and little patience can tackle?