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Crowd-Sourcing for Stress-Coping Mechanisms

So, one of the things my girlfriend struggles with frequently is that she is almost pathologically incapable of coping with stress. She's naturally prone to somewhat more frequent meltdowns than the average individual, but when you throw particularly stressful situations into the mix, it's like recreating the vinegar-and-baking-soda volcanos from 3rd grade. We dealt with it when she was applying to grad schools (she kept saying she wouldn't get in anywhere during the entire process — she got into 6 out of the 8 schools to which she was applying, including her two top choices), and we've dealt with it a lot over the past two days with her upcoming trip to Ireland.

The Ireland thing in particular is kind of rough, because she's started expressing that she feels like she made a bad choice in taking the trip right before grad school, mainly because of money issues. I've been really careful to not say anything about this, because in all honesty, I kind of agree and I really don't want to make things worse — but then again, I'm not the sort of person who gets wanderlust, so my perspective is skewed. She's also stressed because only one of the people she's going with, her cousin, has really done all that much to help her out with planning — but she's so non-confrontational that she doesn't feel comfortable talking to them about it, which has stressed her out more (hell, her cousin only kicked it into high gear after I texted him to be like "hey, H really needs help with the trip-planning"). But we've had multiple full-on sobbing meltdowns in the last two days, and I don't see it getting any better by Tuesday.

I, on the other hand, do not function this way. My stress is internalized — unless it's sports-related, I almost never show outward signs of worry, and I'm usually able to subsume them altogether. My girlfriend regularly jokes that while I have a bit of a hair-trigger grump-temper, I don't ever seem to worry about things. But I have no ability to communicate how not to get stressed out by things, so I feel like I can't help her.

I really, really wish I knew better how to help her cope with it. I mean, I try to do nice things — dinner and a movie tonight, for example — but they only seem to help so much. I've suggested she find a hobby that will help act as an outlet, but unfortunately she's also the sort of person who gives up at things very quickly when she's not immediately good at them, because she can't stand to be bad at anything. Beyond that, I'm not actually sure what else to suggest, because this isn't a problem I've ever really dealt with personally.

So what do you think, Groupthink? What can I do to help her, here? What are some of your own stress-coping mechanisms? I feel like this is just going to keep being an issue until we figure out some way to cope with it, but I have no idea how to solve any of this.

Edit: Because a couple people asked this question, which I should've known to answer to begin with: yes, she does want my help with this. She has asked for my help with it on multiple occasions. I'm just not great at providing that help.


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