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Welcome To The Bitchery

I'm not sure if this is allowed, but I'm not sure where else to turn! I could go to the doctor but I have a feeling they'll just shrug it off/not take it seriously, as always happens when I go to the doctor without something glaringly obvious like a gaping wound or festering infection. So I figured I'd see what you all thought. I know I can't expect a true diagnosis, but maybe someone sees something I'm not seeing and can give me something to go on when I do finally go to the doctor (because I can't keep feeling like this, it's fucking with my job). (TW poop)


Issue #1: For the last two weeks or so, every morning between 7:15 and 8:30, I get horrendous stomach upset. It is like clockwork. During that hour or so, I have intense stomach cramps and nausea — but the nausea seems secondary, as in, I'm not acutely nauseated, but my stomach hurts so much that I feel queasy. It almost feels like gas/poop cramps, but neither gas nor poop is associated with the pain, nor does farting/pooping relieve the pain. After a while it seems to just stop.

My morning routine consists of coffee w/ fat free half-and-half at ~6:10, and a bowl of high-fiber cereal and almond milk at ~6:35. I'm at work by 7:05, and without fail I feel sick by 7:20. None of this is different from previous routine, but it's only in the last couple of weeks that I'm experiencing this stomach upset.


I should also note that my weekend routine is slightly different: coffee w/ FF H&H at around 8 or so, breakfast of eggs and turkey bacon around 9. While the timing is off, I still sometimes have stomach upset, though not as bad (maybe because I'm home in pajamas and not in work clothes, so I feel more comfortable wallowing in my pain) and not as consistent.


  • I take a cocktail of supplements in the AM and thought maybe they were the culprits, but even on the days I skipped them, I still felt sick.
  • I thought I may have been constipated but I've definitely pooped and it doesn't help or change anything
  • I have an IUD and we pull out so pregnancy is statistically unlikely. Also, I get the impression that morning sickness is actual nausea/vomiting, and as I mentioned above, the nausea is sort of secondary to the cramping, and it passes without incident.
  • Could I suddenly in the last two weeks become lactose- or gluten-sensitive? I don't eat a ton of cheese but haven't noticed any issues when I do eat it, and I don't eat a ton of wheat/gluten products except my cereal but it's never bothered me before. It also still hurts when I don't eat it (ie weekends when I eat eggs)

Issue #2 (less urgent): I have a stupid non-itchy raised red rash that comes and goes on the inside (fleshy bit) of my left elbow. No idea what it is or why.

HALP! Here's an adorable red panda for your troubles:

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