So this DELIGHTFUL Tumblr diatribe came across my social media this afternoon and it's amazing in how deeply batshit it is. This woman is REALLY taking the marriage of someone who doesn't know she exists REALLY hard.
It begins innocently enough.
Benedict Cumberbatch married his "Oops! I got her pregnant…Or did I?" ex-escort fiance today. Or was that yesterday? Seeing as how there is a five hour time gap between the United States and the UK I'm not certain of what time of day it actually occurred. All I'm sure of is the date. February 14. Valentine's Day.
And then it dives right into "holy shit wtf" territory.
Guess what I did this morning? Very first thing upon getting out of bed, after reading the news that you had tied the knot with the succubus, I threw away all of your movies. and tomorrow I'm selling my magazine that has your pathetic face on the front of it. Then I'm selling all of the picture pendants I made with your face on them when I was head over heels in love with you last summer and this past fall.
Am I in love with you anymore? No. Do I love you at all now? NOPE!
I hate your guts and I'm celebrating your funeral.
You're not dead you say? Oh, but you are to me. In my mind dear Ben, you died the day you announced your engagement to that stuck up, narcissistic whore you married this morning, or whenever the heck it was.
Lady. Calm down. He's just an actor, albeit a handsome one, who DOESN'T KNOW YOU EXIST AND WHO DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING.
Oh and by the way, those actors at that event I'll be attending later this summer? They're GENUINE actors, with souls who actually CARE about their fans and put thought, and feeling into what they say before they say it. They're REAL People who actually care about what they do, and think about doing something, taking the fans into consideration and always thinking "Will I hurt them if I do this?" before they take one single step.
and guess what buddy, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE AT THAT EVENT AND I'M PRAISING GOD FOR IT. You know why?
Because YOU, my poor, sick, pathetic, lost friend, are the scum of the earth.
I left the Benedict Cumberbitch fandom this morning and I am NOT going back.
E V E R.
Okay, well, don't let the door hit you on the way out...?
Enjoy losing the oscars Benny baby!!
Enjoy losing what's left of your fans.
Enjoy being abused every single day by your anorexic monster of a wife.
Enjoy being the father of another man's child. (or is it five, no; ten other men?)
Basically, enjoy misery.
You were made for it.
This is like some old school Livejournal Fandom Wank stuff. It's glorious in how absolutely unhinged it is. How dare Benedict Cumberbatch get married without asking the permission of his millions of fans! What a monster! How dare he live his life and be happy! What a harpy that woman he loves is! She'll lock him away from his adoring public because she has a chunk of ice for a heart in her demonic ribcage. I imagine he will spend his evening sobbing into his pillow because he's lost this quality fangirl.
Oh, woe and alas, the tortured life of Benedict Cumberbatch.
Update: She updated to say it isn't a parody and then went on to double down on how much she hates Cumberbatch now.
I find it disgusting that Ben asks his fans not to call themselves Cumberbitches, because he's worried about "feminism being set back a few decades" and then goes and gets engaged to a woman who worked as a prostitute.
I find it disgusting that Benedict married her.
I find his conduct towards his fans since he met her, the fact that he's been exposed as a liar, and his fondness for things of a dark sexual nature very disturbing.
That is my reasoning for writing what I did. Not because he married Sophie Hunter (though I have no respect or any sort of liking for her), but because his true colors were exposed and I found, I didn't like the real Benedict Cumberbatch at all.
I find it sickening that he lied to his fans for 10 + years, making us all believe that he was this sweet little innocent boy who could do no wrong; and then suddenly making a total 360 degree turn into a stuck up, narcissistic, sex addicted sicko with an A list rating in the Hollywood movie scene who obviously could care less about his fans and their feelings.
Well... okay then. o__O
Update 2: She deleted her Tumblr.