Hello my precious doodles! This is going up a little early because I need to get ready for to walk the dog before dinner and my own Valentine's Day activities, so enjoy!

Cheesus H Crunch on a cracker you guys are prolific. I think it's about to time to blow this thing. (Everybody have their bags? Seats and tray tables in the locked and upright positions? All arms and children safely inside the ride?) 3...2...1…(let's jam!)


Getting the angry stuff out of the way because today is a day of LOOOOVE, MiracleWhips started the morning off right with racism on the mainpage! DelicateDisarray pointed out that some people seem to be confused by both birth control AND green energy. BlueJeans brought to our attention the Miami Dolphins investigation of the treatment of Jonathan Martin and, true to form, Deadspin commentors didn't disappoint. PuggleLover lost their feminist card in a sexist dream...and I need to apologize to everyone because I definitely had a dream last week that you were all pissed off at me and started sending me nasty things in the mail (hey dream-USPS maybe if it smells like rotting food maybe don't deliver it!) and I don't know what I did to make dream-you guys angry but I'm sorry anyway. NomNom83's getting stabby about crappy "romance" advertising. Everything is Shiny joines the ranks of MPed GTers (oh God no one but you guys would understand what I'm saying right now) completely undone by comments from the MP. KapaiGirl talks to us about feminism in kids' movies. Zimmerman interview on CNN. No. No seriously, just STAHP CNN. Stahp. Thanks NappyHeadedFlo for bringing this to our attention.


And not to be that person (I'm totally going to be that person) but I showed you all that you could earn $10k** thanks to GQ's bounty for unretoutched Barbie SI pictures.

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On to foooooood. KemperBoyd had some trouble with a slow cooker that resulted in a need...a need for speed I mean caffeine. In unrelated news, I am jealous of QuashiLikesItHot's breakfast. CandyHeartCruncher (my boo LemonadeLover...I see you recommending my posts, you sexy beast) shows us the best way to eat a cupcake. I can verify it's scientifically proven*** to be the best way. Jenny "Them" Apples gives us a scone recipe that had me drooling. Bingo, ConversationHearts is inviting us all over later for brownies. KapaiGirl gives us beef and pumpkin lasagne recipe...so you'll be bringing that to Bingo's, right? HappyBerry made something in her slow cooker and I think she should send some to KemperBoyd. Mooncat82 is a Nomnivore is making dinner, too. Why are you guys all so far away?

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And Castielle Winchester gave us a scotch commercial that made both me and Redbeard cry when I found it on Tumblr so I'm not watching it again nope you can't make me SCREW YOU WHO PUT CAT DANDER IN THIS ROOM GODDAMMIT.

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Now we have a few different queries from GT members...Greenheart needs help getting a professional wardrobe up and running, but MaryLee111 needs advice on sex toys. CoffeeJitters is struggling with friends who think she likes things she doesn't like (bonus Hiddles gif). Go, Groupthink! Dispense thy wisdom! (Also, check out Smitten Kitten everyone, because it's awesome!)

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Random things I think you all should see...Such pretty lace from Jenny "them" Apples. I'm moving in with you Jenny, so you can feed me socnes and dress me in knit lace. Hope you don't mind. Pyramids of Squalor, where has this instant gratification monkey been all my life? He needs to help me finish up this dump. And then FLING IT IN EVERYONE'S FACE BECAUSE HE'S A MONKEY. Also, I might be Team Dog, but I really really love Olympic Cat Curling...thanks Paranoid_Shiksa_Feminista! EisenBolan wonders what XGames figure skating would look like. I demand rocket-powered skates to keep it HARDCORE. De La Soul is giving away their ENTIRE song catalog (thanks JustPassingThrough).

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What's better than Valentine's Day, BabbleGum? TRADER JOE'S DAY FOR COLORADO. Pro-tip: the Cookie Butter is very good. Just keep in mind it's also not the only thing you should eat when you get the munchies, folks.

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What's that? More things with no clear category that you should totally check out? OK. More happy mood stuff from LuckyMc44, who asks we share our good feelings and love all over each other like filthy heathens (I might have added that last part myself). TheNewMrsSalazar talks about the "pretty girl" costume and it's impacts. Kirov shares a poem and gets me weepy because apparently that's all I'm doing today is crying.

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My main man Dweeze has got a great Kinja 1.2 (Tiger) round up for us. Thank you Dweeze! I will buy you an extra beer at C2E2 and tell you how much I like pillars. KorbenDallasBertPass has a good Kinja 1.2 question...how many (more) clicks? And then Whiskey in the Shade fixed the reply box! YAY WHISKEY.

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There was a surprising amount of Supernatural stuff on GT today...We have Unattached Drifter's Christmas from Moweezy3, Obligatory V-Day Shenanigans from Jane of the Slums (Nee MBP), and HardcoreUmlaut let us know they got renewed for season 10.

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For the not quite Valentines-slash-badass ladies portion of our program, check out Lady Rainicorn's Ada Lovelace card and our beloved Slay Belle's Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day card.

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VALENTINE'S DAY CONTENT BELOW. You've been notified.

A throwback to earlier in the week: NotHipToBeInSqualor is organizing a Netflix movie night for GT so we can all be each other's Valentines! Updated info is here. And if you haven't read Jenn44416<3Cupid's Favorite's post on why she loves V-Day, you should totally check it out.

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THE GOOD: JinxieJade isn't grumpy around us because we're so freaking sweet. WanderingWombat has some actually GOOD Facebook Valentines. Ghengis Khan't has picked the perfect day to realize what kind of life she wants to lead. Let's admit it, Gomez and Morticia had a really amazingly functional marriage. Lethekk's got a lovely ode to love for us. LobsterQuadrille (OMG I love your freaking username I want to marry it) has a tribute to fictional men that she's loved...'90s style. Chasmosaur100 has PUZZLES FOR US. CunnyBird has proven to me thatpigeons are the most romantic bird. Anastasia Beaverhearts (*snirk* beaver) wants you to share your stories ofover the top Valentines things. IzzyRomaro wants us all to be their Valentine. I SAY YES. LurkerByNature gives us amother fucking history lesson and RemediosVaro backs it up with someLupercalia knowledge to drop. EisenBolan wonders what your first significant other would look like now? No "Mo Duinne" The Dishes got all crafty with her bad self to surprise her sir. Currently Kittah's adorable brother and SIL are fucking adorable and sing us a song about Valentine's Day. Whiskey's OkCupid adventures continue in Valentine form!

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THE BAD/SAD/MAD: KayKay Says Where's My Card gives us a spot to share disappointing Valentine's stories. HitMeStan'slooking for terrible V-Day postson the book of faces. Gonzo reminds us that Valentine's Daycould always be worse. MyPrettyFloralBonnet's got some ideas on how single people cancelebrate today, like the French do. NYCylist shares with us a story of sex and not-love and Valentine's day (TW: sexual assault). Korra just wants to hide but she came out to tell us about FREE CHOCOLATE. Inspector Spacetime has had an up and down relationship with this holiday. PuggleLover is going to be very upset with PuggleLover when PuggleLover doesn't call PuggleLover back.

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THE CARDS: MyPrettyFloralBonnet found adorable geeky cards so you don't have to! La Piquante shares more adorkable cards! MORE CUTE CARDS. THIS TIME WITH VIKINGS. SqualorAndRoses has killed me. SandraDee shares some Tina Belcher cards, now I need to go look at butts and write some fanfiction about horses. Sirdam Tychotronic is freaking killing it with the feminist card. TamTams got us some doge for Valentine's. ScienceGal brings us a Doctor Who card and Currently Kitteh adds even more. AHAHAHAH SOTOMA-JORLY GREAT V-DAY oh goodness, Adamantionette you're a riot. Awesome Texas-style Valentines thanks to DelicateDisarray, Sherlock Valentines from Currenntly Kittah and Buzzfeed (seriously who did they hire in the last month because whoa all of a sudden!), and McStabbyPants had a bit of an exchange with her mom over recycled cards.

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THE LGBTQ: On this day of love, find out how much love you want to give to which type of people with the "How Gay Are You?" quiz courtesy of TheUnoriginalRoo, then go celebrate with Hello_My_Lover that gay couples are challenging the equal marriage ban in Louisiana! And guess what? The Kansas State Senate wants nothing to do with that "gay segregation" bill! Love for all people!

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THE PLANS: Karen We Needed That Money! shares her V-Day traditions and asks about yours. Yes YOURS. You! No not you, the other one. Hello_My_Lover shares a very Galentine's plan for tonight. MadPiglet shares the story of her and What's-His-Name's Valentines plans. Queen Gaenor of Canada is doing romance right: Westros style.

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PackedLunch gives us another father-related tearjerker. SCREW YOU GUYS. Seriously, I was typing this up and the doorbell rang and it was flowers from my daddy. Ugh. Ugly crying now. THANKS.

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Also, Snack's cat turns 15 today! This is INDEED more important than your human lovey dovey bullshit, so go WORSHIP HER.

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I totally can't wait to see how many proposals happen at RedWriter's restaurant.

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Hey look! It's FUCK IT FRIDAY. GO GET YOUR YELL ON WITH FLUTERDALE! (Related: it's also House of Cards day! Go watch with NinjaCate and JustSmileAndNod and Ofermodig.) It's also Self Promotion Friday! Go show us why you're awesome.

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Don't forget the GT VD (whoa that looks wrong and I don't care) movie night!

Now go get your Groupdrink/Groupkink/Groupslink on. I'm gonna go smooch Redbeard and try to stop thinking in early morning DJ voice because I'm starting to annoy the shit out of myself.

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I LOVE YOU ALL.


SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT AN OWL GIF.

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*Not even remotely true, I have very regular BMs thanks to a high fiber diet. CassieBearRawr's got my back on that one.

**In Monopoly bill$

***By me and my friends


A lot of stuff was left out of this, if you want to draw attention to a post left out, please toss a link in the comments. I think I got a lot of everything but if I missed something bring it to our attention!

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Tomorrow's DD will be from WWTDDGeekGirl. Go sign up for your own DD and EARN YOUR PLACE IN HISTORY.