NERD ALERT.

Kotaku posted this video, but I see no point in linking to them because we all hate their commenters. Sorrynotsorry. Anyway - Dark Souls II is coming out and there's footage out in the wild showing co-op gameplay and I want this game so badly like right meow why is not March yet.

Demon's Souls, Dark Souls' predecessor that started the trend of mind-searing difficulty that punishes the player as it educates it was expertly summed up by Yahtzee thus: "Clearly a game that takes away half your health bar and says you can have it back once you've proved you don't need it is a game that does not fuck around." (Seriously, you should watch that video, it's great.) Dark Souls is equally unforgiving, which begs the question: why would you put yourself through such arduous and seemingly endless masochism? Because the game is fair, first and foremost - and if you're willing to learn its mechanics, you'll find that it's really not that hard. You just can't sleep on it or run and gun your way through the legions of enemies who are just salivating at the opportunity to reduce you to a piddly little bloodstain. Which they will. Repeatedly.

Once I got the hang of things I literally could not put the damn game down. So naturally I WANT MOAR, and Dark Souls II is going to scratch that urge I have for a game that doesn't lead you around by the nose, send you off to fetch potions or shit or send you to multiple caves that all look and feel the same. Not this game! No. The aim of the game is thus: if it moves, kill it. And good luck doing so. And just LOOK AT THESE FUCKING BOSSES.

The hallmark of these games are the incredible art design and gorgeous, sumptuous orchestral soundtracks and if you're willing to overcome the sweaty palms and sheer dread that ensues when you venture into a previously unexplored area that seems more alien than the last and find yourself being faced down by some new monstrosity, the game has some of the most memorable moments of any game I've ever played.

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And just for fun, some people who have wayyyyyyyy too much time on their hands figured out that if you show up properly prepared, you can kill every boss in just one hit. Suck it, Ornstein.

Oh, here's a dude fighting a giant cat. Prepurrrrrr to die, bitches!

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